“Well my soul checked out missing as I sat listening
To the hours and minutes tickin’ away
Yeah just sittin’ around waitin’ for my life to begin
While it was all just slippin’ away
I’m tired of waitin’ for tomorrow to come
Or that train to come roarin’ ’round the bend
I got a new suit of clothes a pretty red rose
And a woman I can call my friend…”
The opening verse of Springsteen’s song, the same title I borrowed for this piece, it just seems appropriate today. The beginning of a new calendar year, the closing down of what, for the most part, was a year (well, at least 9 months of the year) loaded with upheaval, tumult, worry, anxiety, sorrow, loss, and more than the usual uncertainty.
Yet, through it all, the sun still shines, hope springs eternal, music still resonates in the soul, Abbey THE dog still goes for walks, wine still tastes good, friend’s, kids, grandkids, laughter and smiles still happen be it in person or virtually. I continue to look at the time I’ve had behind me, more than the time I have to look forward to (thus the point of the opening verse), but I’m working on changing that given the firm look at the fact that what’s past is exactly that, past. There is no adjusting, changing, reliving, revisiting that which has gone before. There is only moving forward, changing for the better when necessary, maintaining what is good and solid and making it stay.
I hate when things go “wrong”, I can be a tad impatient, I like things to work correctly. That said, one of the things I think I’ve come to grips with during these past months, is that, like the snow (which I hate!!!) there are things that you simply cannot control and that even when the roof leaks due to ice dams, the leak will stop, the weather will warm, the rain will eventually wash away the snow and ice and the golf course will again be open for play. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to embrace the zen-like state that Sue seems to be able to muster often, but I also think I’ve moved a bit more toward it.
My singular “resolution” for this year is to try even harder, to be proactive about “showing up” [ another shout out to John Neral who is really good at pointing out how important that is ] to take risks just because I can, to be comfortable but not hide under an emotional or physical blanket of worry. To continue to listen to music and to continue to marvel at the thoughts that some folks can put out there. To seek to be kind and considerate especially when it is tough.
More lyrics to close…this time from Dawes:
“So I pointed my fingers
And shouted few quotes I knew
As if something that’s written
Should be taken as true
But every path I had taken
And conclusion I drew
Would put truth back under the knife
And now the only piece of advice that continues to help
Is anyone that’s making anything new only breaks something else“
You can’t make an omelet without cracking an egg, can you?
Kevin Fitzpatrick, Dr. Neil Floch’s gastric sleeve patient with over 180 lb. weight loss